so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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