Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
