Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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