Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
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