my phone cant type all the emotion im having
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
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