he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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