the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
