and my herpes radar will keep us safe
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I think my moral compass just broke
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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