don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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