i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Randomize