so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Randomize