I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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