that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
