i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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