What a fucking waste of an outfit
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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