is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
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