that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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