You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
