I like my sex mixed with concussions.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
This is my gift to your gina
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
