I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
