Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
