She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
