Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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