Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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