I think scott just propositioned me for sex
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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