she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
