I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
