a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
The feeling are messing with the penis
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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