You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
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i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
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I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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