i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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