I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize