Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
