I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
