If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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