**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
