My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
