HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
where am i from again
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
