Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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