we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
20+ Kids Who Probably Didn’t Mean To Draw Hardcore Porn
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...