He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.