I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat