I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
