dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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