Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
