her vagine was all disorganized.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
