More tranny stories later!
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
