just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
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I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
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