Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
