I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
