i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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