she woke up with a sticky ear
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
