everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
