You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
