but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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