I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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