i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Randomize
