i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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