I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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