Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
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