Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
