what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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