its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
