remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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