So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
my liver is dry heaving
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
