Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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