i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
